what I really want you to know, my child

There are so many thoughts swimming through my head right now as May brings endings and beginnings all at once.

Every year, as you grow older, my mind races with how little time there really is. So just this once, bare with me as I bare my soul. All the deep things I have hidden that I really need to share as the next phase of your journey continues.

From the very moment you were placed in my arms my mind flooded with thoughts. Thoughts of complete inadequacy coupled with thoughts of an overwhelming love. Realizing I was completely unprepared for the task at hand. I knew that the little life that wrapped itself so quickly around my heart would forever change me as a person.

I prayed that God would take the lead. That He would supply all you needed that I just didn’t have. That my weaknesses would point to His strengths as He led the way on this adventure.

I just really want you to know my heart as your journey began. And, how desperately I have always wanted only His best for you.

As you grew, I simply longed to remember every single moment. You will hear people say again and again that time flies, and yes, it is true.  I now know it really does. It seems as if just yesterday I was dropping you off at preschool for the first time and crying as I left you. I remember all too well the overly planned birthday parties, activities and outfits. I worried way too much about the details of things that now don’t seem to have mattered.

Always remember, people matter, not things.

I wish I had just played with you more. Reckless, abandoned play times! Moments where you ended up dirty as did my floors. And, it didn’t matter! Special times where we just sat and I listened to your young voice chatter over and over again about the same things. Because I now realize that voices change and conversations slow down over time. Times where I was more worried about being mommy than any other thing in the world. Please forgive me for every simple, precious mommy moment I may have missed.

Don’t let anyone or anything take your time and attention away from those you love.

Because time passes all too quickly and you can’t go back. Please keep your eyes on what’s ahead, learn from what’s behind, and be ready for every opportunity.

Remember that opportunities come and go. Make the most of every one. Be careful to pay close attention as to where they come from. Some are from God, others are not. Prayerfully consider every opportunity. Asking God for His guidance in all things.

And, always, always be you. You are the best you anyone can be! God created you just as you are for His very purpose and this exact moment in time.

Don’t let a quick decision to conform or be like everyone else for a brief moment rob you of His perfect plan. Stay true to your course with Him. He is the only one always faithful. You can trust Him. He never changes. And, He cares more about you than I do. I know that is hard to believe, but it is true.

Be His first. Always.

And, put others second only to Him. Love your neighbor as yourself and consider them better than you. It really is the only way. Not easy. Just better. As life takes its own twists and turns, you will be surprised by how people play a part in His plan.

Some people you encounter will be only for a season, while others are for a lifetime. Trust Him with both kinds.

People can touch your heart and lift your spirit, but they can also steal your joy and paralyze you with defeat. I am praying for you to surround yourself with the first and for your heart to be prepared for the latter.

Again, only God will be faithful in all circumstances. Yes, people will disappoint you and you will disappoint people.

Ask God to keep your heart and motives pure so you can make amends when you are wrong, no matter how hard those apologies may be. They are necessary.

If we want to be forgiven, we have to forgive.

And, yes, always strive to be one who touches hearts and lifts spirits along the way.

Kindness and encouragement normally cost nothing more than a little extra thought and time.

You will be humbly surprised by how God can use you in the lives of others. At any age. Any place. And, any time. Always be ready. And, do everything for His glory.

I am praying that this journey of parenting I have embarked upon has been just for that. His glory.

I want you to know that each day as you grew, so did my love for you. Yes, we have had moments of hurried words and hurt feelings, but you, you always have had my heart.

Seeing you transform has been one of God’s greatest gifts to me. Every part of you is more special than the next.

I hope you remember that I am and always will be your biggest fan. I will always believe you can do anything and I will trust Him with everything (although this can be a challenge for this fear-ridden mom).

And, please know, I will be praying over every single part of your life. Thanking Him for the precious memories of the past, yet asking Him to be ever-present in all that is to come.

One last thing.


You can always come home.

No matter where this life takes you or how old you are.

Home is yours and you are mine.

And, more importantly, His.



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1 Comment

  • Reply Angie Busby May 21, 2016 at 10:08 pm

    Beautiful and oh so true. Great job sweet friend expressing a mothers heart .

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